2012 and those damn Mayans.

Today I tilled the garden with the MTD counter -rotating, rear tine tiller. It belongs to my brother but he brought it to my house and dumped it off after it caused him to need a knee replacement.That years garden cost him thirty thousand dollars.Then while he was convalescing,his wife decided to plow her flower patch, and the tiller pinned her against the house and broke a couple of ribs.That's how I inherited it. I am grateful....I think.I am typing this with one hand because, the tiller of certain hurt(TCH) hung on a root,lurched unexpectedly to the left and pulled my right arm out of socket.While I was flailing about in obvious pain the TCH saw it's chance to escape and tried to chew through the new fence.A family of city dwellers drove by, witnessed this scene and were frightened by it.They did not stop to help.They did speed away.Writhing about in agony,I finished turning the soil with my fore head.Thankfully Star(The Dog) saw what was happening and jumped on my back causing the shoulder and arm to pop back into alignment.The pain was subsided enough that I was able to guzzle some George Dickle Tennessee sipping whisky, further reducing the pain ,as well as reducing my ability to speak and type.Star(The Dog) is walking around my chair,concern written on her face. Puss (The Cat)has no such worries. She could care less about my well being.Puss(The Cat) is looking forward to 2012 and the end of the Mayan calender.She is hoping for the end of humanity just so I am killed .Puss(The Cat) wants only herself and my wife to remain alive.Kill them all except for one .Save the wife to pour the Kitten Chow.Many people are worried about the end of the Mayan calender.They say the Mayans predicted the end of the world,that they were geniuses.I say I am smarter than the Mayans.I am still here and they are history. HA! At least the anthropologists say they are extinct,for whatever that is worth.All the experts said the coelacanth was extinct.Native people along the coast of Africa have been catching them forever,although they said(and I quote)"They taste a little like fish".And the "experts" said the Ivory Billed Woodpecker was gone as well.HA HA! FOOLS!There's a nest,in a tree, right down the road at the Mayans house.That's right, there's a family of Mayans living in Haletown! They wear very bright and colorful clothing, and speak in an ancient dialect.None of us understand.When they are in a hurry they say pronto. When they are hungry they say burrito.When they are thirsty they say cervas.They are through with working in astronomy,they now are employed at Tennessee Galvanizing.The Italians running the place love the Mayans, because they don't complain about the poisonous fumes.When the the Mayans get sick they go to the county hospital for free care(because the Italians don't provide workers comp for Mayans)and the rest of us taxpayers are grateful to pay so the operators(Italians)can continue to live the life style they so richly deserve.It's free enterprise at it's best baby.No welfare. Give them a job ,then work them 'till they turn green from zinc poisoning,Goddamn it!If you can't keep up,crawl off and die,you worthless bastard.It's free enterprise.So you've ingested a few neurotoxins and now you've got a lazy eye and a full body twitch."We(and I quote)could deal with the eye,but the twitch angers the customers".There's aways another another Mayan at the door looking for work,because the people we elect are Pure Capitalists ! They say USA!USA!USA!Because that's what gets them re-elected!Simpletons will stock pile beans,bullets and band-aids and then vote for the same assholes ! 2012 will be the end of the world because a tribe of simple phucks, living in the jungle,sacrificing virgins,(we all know the bitches needed it) and worshiping the sun, were correct on the movement of the planets and the constellations !Right now the Mayans are paving the road in front of my house and I talk for a living.Who's the dumb ass?I ain't got a shovel in my hand! But it's probably a Freemason conspiracy right,you liberty loving bastards.Would that be the same Freemasons that signed the constitution that you hold so dear?The same people that helped shape the form of government that you now claim sole ownership to? Honestly, as I type this Tim Allen on Jimmy Kimmel live is poking fun of the masons.He Never WAS funny! Now the Mayans,who I've invited in from the road with a promise of a cervsa and a burrito,were impressed by the idiot tube.One tribal elder said(and I quote)"Fur Ma' pronto,Ces's hua cosuin" That's Mayan for "Get your preparations in order;food,guns,ammo,a bug out spot,and a water purification system,and hurry!Oh yeah.Who's your cousin!"copyrightcousinricky2010llc.NOTE: This blog was predicted by the Mayan.Research it at; Bolder :6, Stone:2578,Rock:445,Gravel:9,Pebble;20210.I ain't lying dude.Look it up bitch.It is written!