Possum Stomp

Tax time,bitches.And I owe.No job,no prospects,no hope,no nothing.(Double negatives are acceptable in Haletown).My wife and I have -(had)-three income streams and we dutifully( Foolishly?)pay income taxes.I have to ask,"What Do They Want?What..do..they..want?Everything!I know people that hardly worked in'09,yet they seem to get by just fine.Now I learn they got a tax refund of up to five thousand dollars!It doesn't matter that they paid no taxes to begin with.China-Mart lobbied con-gress furiously for this,I'm pretty sure.The Democrats are desperately trying to buy votes to remain a majority after mid-term elections.Pelosi and Reed are frightened for their cushy appointments.(Pelosi and Reed,doesn't that roll off the tongue, kinda like when you puke after a weekend when your supposed to"Be off doing comedy" but in reality you've been delivering the old punch line to a cheap woman named Heather(Hillary?) and swilling cheap vodka named Heaven Hill).The Republicans,or Democrats, stand at the podium in their respective chambers and blast the other party knowing C-Span is capturing it all for the folks(fools) back home.We, whom they lovingly call the sheeple, buy it hook,line and smoking turd.Vote for us or the terrorist win.Vote for us or the bankers win.Politicians are like professional wrestlers,only twelve point five trillion times worse!($24.95 per ticket to see the main event compared to what the con-gress has allowed the Fed to saddle us with).With both there is a lot of rhetoric."I will destroy Rick Flare before he knows it,OWWWWWWW!""This bill will destroy America before you know it,OWWWWWWWWW"!John Morrison verses Chris Jericho on Friday night .Bob Coker verses anybody that doesn't have money, i.e.working people,on Monday morning.Then after demonizing the opposition,they adjourn,to a restaurant and/or bar, to eat a tax payer funded t-bone steak and propose a toast;To us,The Elite. Republican and Democrat but no Independents! They may vote for the people,except for Liberman, he's a whore also. At least with a wrestler you know where he stands.When he delivers a skull crushing punch,he stomps his foot on the mat for a sound effect,because no craniums were destroyed in the making of this match.Where do you think professional wrestling got the idea to be fake.That's right, con-gress.When I was a kid, Harry Thorten had a wrestling show on Saturday(Chattanooga ,Tennessee;WDEF TV).Three matches in all.Televised with free admission for studio audiences. The first match one tag team would win, then,predictably the other team would prevail,(sound familiar huh,huh, watch C-Span dumb ass)!The third and final showdown would erupt,chair whooping,card tables being crushed under a miscreant that really,really deserved it.(Exactly like the health care debate bill.)The third event inevitably ended in a draw.(Getting the pitcher[sic] now Skippy.)Harry would loudly proclaim,"Come to the Auditorium( and buy a ticket to this Private venue)and see the "Biggest card ever"!SEE,SEE,Politics and wrestling,the same! Need more proof?OK.Growing up my sister was a HUGE fan of a tag team named "The Hillbillys". Their claim to fame was a hold called the "possum stomp".The "Billy" would clamp his opponents head between his knees and jump up and down until the victims brain stem separates from the spinal cord.This was the appearance anyway. I'm sure that this particular move could have resulted in paralyzes or death had the hillbilly's wished.But it was only a show designed for the weak minded masses. After the crowd had left and the proceeds had been divided up, the combatants went to the nearest restaurant and/or bar, to eat a ticket buyer funded t-bone steak and propose a toast;To US.The Elite!That is all well and good to those of us that recognize these things for what they are.But my older sister (by eleven years) was and is,a believer.And a huge Hillbilly's fan.When I was six or seven,I shot my sisters cat with a stopper gun.Admittedly I had removed the suction cup from the dart,I was six(or seven)for God's sake.Anyway My sister grabbed me, stuck my head between her knees and began to possum stomp me. It appeared I wouldn't be completely dead before our mother returned from the store,so my sibling made her way across the kitchen floor. She never missed a "stomp" because that would have been a double dribble. She arrived at the cabinets and continued the "stomp", along with running my head into the said cabinets.And it wasn't fake.I was near death or at the very least facing life in a wheel chair,when my mom came home. Good old mom, she'll save me.Sure enough she said,"Linda quit that!"Thank God for my mom.Then she said, "Your going to ruin my cabinets with your brothers teeth!Here's a card table and a folding chair go play out side."As my eighteen year old Amazon sister drug me towards my death, I yelled defiantly "Who's your cousin!".cousinricky.llc.2010