Time-Space Anomalies

• I am out of work, no day job, no comedy. I am trying to get some work done around my villa, Chateau De Poverty. Part of the roof is gone and we're living in the laundry room under a mound of clothes cast off  at Goodwill by them upper middle class Americans (some that still have the original tags attached). God bless you spend thrift Americans. Although you suspect your pension and 401(k) and social security and retirement have been looted by lawyers, bankers and their whore politicians, you still buy ,buy, buy. Then in a moment of Christian charity you'll dump the excess at the donation drop off. You will collect a receipt for income tax purposes. Hopefully there will be a tidy refund to spend at China-Mart. Buy the family more products made from powdered lead, friable asbestos, melamine, coal tar, PCB's and radioactive uranium tailing's encapsulated in a fine wood-like veneer. Yet little Johnny can't learn! His head is twice the size of his paw-paw's and his eyes are so far apart he looks like a hammerhead shark! He can't see to light his cigarette. The Elephant man's saying,"Damn that boy's ugly!

  Anyway, the point of this post is to tell about my fencing job .I need a fence to keep the dogs contained. My dogs, individually, are rather benign. Collectively they are a killing machine.I was finishing up the last small section of wire,when the water meter guy saunters up, dead lice falling off of him as he walks.The dogs can smell public employee, and it infuriates them. The ten dollar a month maintenance fee added onto the already steep bill only fueled their rage. The canines launch like the space shuttle. I watch in amazement as the meter reader, who could soak up a forty hour work week and never put down his coffee cup, beat the dogs to his truck. He must have altered the time-space continuum. He was still reading the meter while the truck was driving away with him at the wheel. Confused I tried to call the dogs off. "Kill! Kill!" I yelled. Again and again I begged the dogs to come inside and leave the public employee alone ."Kill!"  Old Missy, just gave up and  licked her butt as a consultation prize. The other dog, Star, having in a prior life been a service animal to theoretical physicist Steven Hawkin, knew how to fold space and was waiting at the truck for the meter reader when he got there. She now has a good job with the city (and benefits). It's saving me a bunch on Front line and Heartguard and has generated another income stream. More later CR