T.V.Preachin

Last night I saw a man on t.v. preaching. His name was Rat Boberson,head of Praise The God, or P.T.G. foundation.They do some really good work but mainly in Africa for a small group of children.He wasn't trying to pull a fast one on ol' cuz or anything, I saw the kids.There wasn't many because he kept showing the same five or ten over and over.It may have been a representative sample.Maybe the others didn't come in because they hated flies.The sample group appeared to attract buzzing insects.It was annoying as hell to me. But not to the samples.They seemed to tolerate them well,the tiny wing beats a form of rudimentary h.v.a.c in the sub-Shara desert.After the clip had played and the voice over had faded,Rat's son Sham Boberson,overcome with emotion,was unable to read from the teleprompter.His dad seamlessly took over and with the skill of a seasoned car salesman(hmmmmm,what?)implored me personally to improve these children's lot.ME.He was staring intently at the camera,but with only one eye. The other one looked a little rummy,like he taken a good nip while they cut away to the video,or maybe tore up his Oxycontin patch and smoked it on a blunt.Maybe he needed to get high because he was annoyed also.I felt as if he was trying to look through that t.v. at me.I don't think he saw me because I was hiding. I'd peak around the door jam,glad he couldn't see through walls because I was on a web site called Hooters,Cooters and Pooters.Sham had regained his composure and he angled to set the hook.He said the Lord told him, to tell me, to give my money to them.(You'd think the Lord would know I was out of work).Yet,for a small sum each month I( and I presume a few million other bleeding hearts,but at the time it seemed I was the only one that he was speaking to)could save those children.How much I gave decided how many lived. Implied,but not spoken was also how many I, through pure stinginess would let die.They had cleverly setup a payment plan based on Olympic metals. Twenty bucks per month=Bronze.Fifty dollars=Silver. One hundred greenbacks=Gold. What a scam..I mean..Good idea.Your level of giving ties you with a recent media circus.Olympics on NBC 24/7.Look Josephine,we're silver medalist in the combine,and for only fifty dollars out of our measly pension.Which leaves us with twelve dollars discretionary spending after rent, electric,food and meds.We can't afford cable t.v. anymore.But that's OK because Rat and Sham Boberson's show,P.T.G. can be received free(HA!) from an antenna .I want to help the little chill'ens,but I won't commit to pay each month.Lord knows,I'm out of work myself.I figure enough people will step up monthly with food and water. What the little tike's need are some fly swats,maybe some Off. You can't enjoy a meal in peace with a fly blowing your eyes.As former President George W. Bush put it so succinctly. "We want to help our friends in Australia"(pssss, Mr. President It's Africa)" Oh yeah,(heeeheeeheeeheee),you people in Africa,by offering help,hope and advice.Help yourself to some of these free seeds,hope you can grow a garden and swat then damn flies off your freakin' faces!At least until the camera crew leaves. Christ!(Heeeeheeehee)Dick? DICK? Anybody seen my Dick?Karl Rove,would find me my Dick?(Heeeheeeheeee)"At which time Dick appeared from a porta-potti,still holding little Richard in his hand and looking directly into the camera said"Who's your cousin". copyright cousinricky2010